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[Thursday, Nov 15, 2007 @ 4:47am]

masterriddle
Well, now. This just won't do at all. Just because I occassionally traverse time and space to possess a student at the London Film School for fun and profit, that doesn't mean my life here can go all to heck while I'm gone. What are all these cables? I will not have my Orphan Shelter And Petting Zoo be used as a diabolical call centre; I just won't stand for it. Find somewhere else for your petty tortures. There's plenty of prime real estate available in Britain if you know where to look.

Ginevra? Dearest, your face looks all...worn out.
13 comments|post comment

[Monday, Oct 15, 2007 @ 11:08pm]

stolen_marbles
[ mood | angry ]

Are we still on the phones? I've had to pee for five days.

8 comments|post comment

[Saturday, Oct 6, 2007 @ 12:05am]

karkers
Well now. What is all thinking of that keynote speech by Dark Lord? "One Nation Under Me: Leading the Wizarding World to Evil Victory."

Oh, wait a few times, almost most of you were taking phone calls and could not attend. Ha ha ha!

My panel for Dead Death Eaters went as well as could. We console each other about state of living, railed against said living, and partied through convention hall afterward, upsetting vendor tables and probably prompting many such phone calls about where to report incidents. At least, am hoping we're to cause some fuss with it.

Am thinking my favourite panels were a glorious series:
  • Torturing Muggles: Hobby or Lifestyle?
  • New Comfy Chair Techniques: A Study of Cushions, Couches, and Ottomans
  • Really Painful Things You Can Do To Muggles With Pillows
  • Yes, The Stuffing Up To One End: Why Comfy Chairs are So Yesterday
  • 8 comments|post comment

    EXCUSE ME? [Sunday, Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:56pm]

    herbology_dork
    [ mood | aggravated ]

    what just happened here? Pav and i were FINALLY sitting down to our first date, and now we're... answering phones for HWMNBN?
    IT WAS A REALLY NICE RESTAURANT, OKAY, AND IT TOOK ME QUITE A BIT OF EFFORT TO GET THOSE RESERVATIONS! and it was our FIRST (real) DATE!
    ugh, why do things like this keep happening? we're all set to begin a nice dating relationship, and WHAM! we are forced to be (fake) married, throwing a spanner in the works. then, we are ready to start our (fake) married life and live happily ever after, and BAM! Pav is kidnapped by her parents and sequestered on a mobile island. now, FINALLY, when we're back together and trying to have a go at a real relationship with a real date, and BOOM! whisked away to be evil phone operators!

    WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SWORD?
    AND WHY IS THIS PHONE SMASHING ME UPSIDE THE FACE?

    bugger this, i'm finding Pav and getting out of here, they can't make us answer stupid questions about the Evil Overlord Conference... OH NOOOO! GET IT AWAY! the nudity, the wrinkles! oh ew, is that the Minister? UGH! i'll do it, i'll answer the phone! anything to get those pictures away from me! AUGH!


    ...good evening, thank you for calling the Evil Overlords Conference Hotline, how may i help you tonight?
    yes, children are welcome, provided they are loyal to the cause.
    well, evil child-minders will be available, but little ones may also attend the family-oriented talks, and several have been designed specifically for children.
    certainly; some of the topics your evil offspring might enjoy include: Muggle Torture for the Whole Family, Wretched Things You Can do With Sippy Cups, and Overlording for Children. You can find others on the Conference Schedule at the check-in table, along with a special baddy-bag for all registered attendants under age 17. don't forget to pick up nasty nametags for the whole family.
    yes; thank you, madam, you have a lovely evening.


    blast!

    15 comments|post comment

    OH, RING RING, YEAH, REEEEALLY THREATENING, DOUCHEFACE [Sunday, Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:32pm]

    potter_mouth
    [ mood | NOT NAKED, OH PLEASE NO ]

    OKAY, VOLDEMORT (YES, I SAID YOUR NAME), THIS IS A SIRIUSLY STUPID PLAN, AND I REFUSE TO ADHERE TO IT. YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN MAKE ME, HARRY FUCKING DANGER POTTER, ANSWER PHONES FOR YOU? YOU THINK I CAN'T HANDLE A LOUD RINGING NOISE IN MY EARS? COME ON, I'VE BEEN HANDLING THAT SINCE BIRTH. ACTUALLY I THINK IT MIGHT BE A MEDICAL CONDITION, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. BUT THAT ISN'T THE POINT. I REFUSE TO ANSWER PHONES FOR YOU.

    OH DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS H. CHRIST, GET THAT PHOTO AWAY FROM ME! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! IT'S AWFUL! MY EYES ARE BLEEDING! STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT! OH MY GOD! MAKE IT GO AWAY! OH DEAR GOD, I CAN'T SEE! I'M BLIND! I'M BLIND! I'M FUCKING BLIND! NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOU IN THAT POSITION, DUDE! I'M TELLING YOU FOR YOUR OWN SAKE!

    IF YOU THINK WAVING A NAKED PHOTO OF YOU AROUND IN FRONT OF ME IS GOING TO MAKE ME WANT TO HELP YOU, YOU'RE COMPLETELY OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IS THAT A GOAT? OH MY GOD!

    HELLO, NO, I WON'T ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A DEATH EATER YOU STUPID GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH FINE FINE FINE, THE MEETING FOR THE SOCIETY OF PUTTING MUGGLES ON TOP OF OTHER MUGGLES IS AT 8 O'CLOCK TUESDAY, ALTHOUGH FRANKLY I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'D WANT TO PUT MUGGLES ON TOP OF OTHER MUGGLES.

    OH, IS THIS THING STILL ON? I DIDN'T SWITCH IT TO VOICE MODE. GET OFF. GET OFF VOICE MODE. NO, WAIT A SECOND, I CAN'T ANSWER YOUR QUESTION UNTIL I GET OFF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAKE IT STOP OH THE HORROR, THE HO

    25 comments|post comment

    Welcome to my house, please stay forever! [Sunday, Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:16pm]

    reallyquiteevil
    [ mood | diabolical! ]

    Oh, what a busy week it has been, but finally everything is prepared for the 666th annual Evil Overlords Conference. I am, of course, the keynote speaker, but I do plan to attend and supervise the evil meeting of minds that shall occur proceeding my seminal speech.

    There is but one last detail left.

    Evil Plot #411

    Steps: Eight
    Materials: Lots of wire, 1 river bank (insulated), 66 really really big locks, bells, the Dikan, HSWW Peeseas, HSWW Fellytones, HSWW servings manual labour, bits of string.
    Minions: Required elsewhere.
    Evil Ranking: Seriously diabolical

    Tie the HSWW to the Peeseas with string and transport to the bank. Add locks to ensure security. Chop Fellytones and stir in at minute six and two-thirds, being careful to add the required attention. Mix in manual labour. Let set, wrap with wire, and dip in the Dikan. Serve with bells on.

    Whee! 

    16 comments|post comment

    [Wednesday, Sep 26, 2007 @ 12:20am]

    potter_mouth
    [ mood | PHILANTHROPICALLY ANGRY ]

    YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD OF ME BEFORE.  I'M HARRY POTTER.  VOLDEMORT (YEAH, I SAID HIS NAME) TRIED TO KILL ME WHEN I WAS A BABY AND I LIVED, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, HE DID KILL MY PARENTS, LEAVING ME SADLY ORPHANED, BUT WITH A LOT OF MONEY AND NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.  WHAT BETTER, NOW THAT I HAVE REACHED MANHOOD, THAN TO CHANNEL MY POWERS AND MY FINANCES INTO A PHILANTHROPIC EMPIRE AND A CAUSE I BELIEVE IN, WHICH IS: COMPETING WITH TOM RIDDLE, WHO IS A DOUCHE AND STOLE MY IDEA AND IS GOING TO USE IT TO TORTURE ORPHANS/TURN THEM INTO A DARK ARMY.  OH, ALSO I BELIEVE IN HELPING CHILDREN.  SPECIFICALLY, CHILDREN WHOSE PARENTS/RELATIVES/FRIENDS/PETS HAVE BEEN MURDERED BY VOLDEMORT (YES...I SAID HIS NAME...FUCKING GET OVER IT).  I AM AN IDEAL ROLE MODEL, SO I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY YOU WOULDN'T WANT LOADS OF LITTLE CHILDREN AROUND ME.  IN FACT, UNLIKE TOM RIDDLE, I SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I WILL NEITHER INTENTIONALLY TORTURE ANY ORPHANS NOR USE THEM TO FORM AN ARMY OF DARKNESS.


    SO THERE'S NO POINT IN WAITING TO ANNOUNCE


    THE HARRY POTTER ORPHAN ZOO AND PETTING SHELTER
    LITTLE HANGLETON

    OPENING SOON

    YEAH.  EAT ME, TOM RIDDLE.  AND YOU KNOW WHAT?  I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE STUPID PUSSY SHEEP.  I'M GOING TO HAVE FUCKING GOATS.

    I'M CURRENTLY SIGNING THE PAPERS TO SECURE A LOT OF PROPERTY IN LITTLE HANGLETON, AND I'M IN TALKS WITH ABERFORTH DUMBLEDORE ABOUT THE PETTING ZOO.

    BUT YOU KNOW, I'M A MAN OF VALUE AND PRINCIPLES.  THAT'S WHY I SWEAR TO OFFER YOU MUCH BETTER ORPHANS FOR A LOT LESS MONEY.


    JUST REMEMBER, WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE BEST ORPHANS IN ENGLAND, LOOK NO FURTHER THAN THE HARRY POTTER ORPHAN ZOO!
    22 comments|post comment

    [Thursday, Sep 20, 2007 @ 9:47pm]

    masterriddle
    There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand up for what he believes in, and for what is right. For me, this time has now come. I have suffered in the past, at the hands of callous and unforgiving Muggles ignorant of my uniqueness. I will not tolerate this fate befalling any other young witch or wizard. Also, the property appears to be surrounded by sheep and I'm of a 'waste not, want not' persuasion. Therefore, without any further ado...

    Announcing

    The Tom Riddle Orphan Shelter And Petting Zoo
    Little Hangleton

    Opening Soon

    *Please note, no orphan is to be petted, and no sheep adopted.
    121 comments|post comment

    [Monday, Sep 17, 2007 @ 5:49pm]

    waitingfortom
    [ mood | ecstatic ]

    That. Was. AWESOME!

    I can't believe Neville-- I mean, wow! Who would have thought?! Neville, they should make comic books about you!

    HI, EVERYONE, WE'RE BACK!

    ... Tom, we can get you fresh new socks! We're home!

    97 comments|post comment

    [Sunday, Sep 16, 2007 @ 3:01pm]

    plugsplugsplugs
    GINEVRA!

    I've just had an owl from Kingsley Shacklebolt telling me that you're still lollygagging around in King's Cross!

    You come back from Harry's afterlife THIS MINUTE! And make sure you bring your brother Fred! I don't believe for a minute that he's not planning on coming back so I don't want to hear any more of that nonsense! Do you hear me?
    103 comments|post comment

    I AM COMING TO RESCUE YOU! [Friday, Sep 14, 2007 @ 10:08pm]

    herbology_dork
    [ mood | anxious ]

    PAV! PADMA! GET EVERYTHING READY, I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT!

    GINNY, TELL EVERYONE ELSE TO GET READY, I'M COMING!

    i think i figured out a way we can do this without Harry being there, though it will have to be done fast. i've done some research, and sjnce i've been there once before, i should be able to get there again, and bring everything i need with me. i have an idea of how to get you all out, i just have to go get something from Hogwarts, and i should be ready to drink the potion.

    i'm really going to be pulling this one out of my hat. i really hope it works!!

    59 comments|post comment

    Neville? [Wednesday, Sep 12, 2007 @ 2:07am]

    waitingfortom
    Neville, something you need to know. It seems Harry's not going to be doing anything to help after all because my silence pushed him too far, but I just want you to know that I believe in you. It'll be harder, but I'm sure you can do it yourself if you believe you can. You figured out the plants already. You're smart enough and powerful enough, I know it. You turned me back, after all; you have the right instincts. I don't know that I can be much help in this position as far as helping you help me, but if I can, tell me what to try. Thanks again for all of this.

    I may need some of that other help again sometime. Maybe not, I hope not.
    77 comments|post comment

    Er. [Tuesday, Sep 11, 2007 @ 5:20am]

    waitingfortom
    [ mood | anxious ]

    So how are those sprouts coming along? Any full plants yet? I'm getting cravings for beds and showers and proper tea and, for some reason, bunnies. I don't know why bunnies, but bunnies. And ducklings. Maybe a kitten or two. They're so soft and cuddly!

    46 comments|post comment

    Thoughts! [Sunday, Sep 9, 2007 @ 2:12am]

    seeneverything
    [ mood | delightfully nude! ]

    I say!  I just want to clear a few things up.

    1. Why am I still in this train station?  Can I go?  I didn't even realise!  Do you think I can take this tea?

    2. Did I misread, or did young Mr. Potter (not to be confused with the old Mr. Potter who is, of course, pushing up the daisies) and You-Know-Who call off their rivalry?  Isn't this a bit of a problem?  I would have mentioned it sooner but it struck me that my dear brother (you may have heard of him, but who knows anymore!) might have wanted to deal with it.  But I guess I have to be the bigger man here (as I always have been--emotionally, intellectually, mentally, physically, euphemistically) and point this out.  Oughtn't we to do something about that?

    3. Does anyone know of any good nude beaches near Hogsmeade?  All this nakedness has given my bits something of a taste for alfresco!

    145 comments|post comment

    [Thursday, Sep 6, 2007 @ 9:44am]

    lookscomefirst
    [ mood | indescribable ]

    Neville the books here!!!
    Its with me in my room in the townhouse I'm renting, I'll email you the exact address.

    18 comments|post comment

    OMG HELP! [Wednesday, Sep 5, 2007 @ 3:06pm]

    spidersmustdie
    My nipples have fallen and they can't get up!

    Somebody help!

    I'm pinching them and they're just... just... dead!
    51 comments|post comment

    THE SPROUTS! THE SPROUTS! [Tuesday, Sep 4, 2007 @ 8:58pm]

    herbology_dork
    [ mood | ecstatic ]

    HARRY! HARRY!
    THE SPROUTS GROWING IN THE FIEND FYRE BURN! I THINK THEY HOLD THE ANSWER TO OUR MOST RECENT QUEST!

    i need to find a copy of The Dichotomous Key for Impossibly Rare Magical Plants and Fungi but i'm almost positive i am correct!

    come talk to me as soon as possible! i think i might have a way for us to get to Ginny, if you have a way for us to bring her (and Tom, i suppose) back!


    can we leave Goyle there though, please?

    52 comments|post comment

    SONNET FOR A SORCERER [Saturday, Sep 1, 2007 @ 11:45pm]

    potter_mouth
    [ mood | ANGRY ENOUGH TO BOIL A MONKEY ]

    OKAY, DOUCHEMORT, I CAN TELL YOU'RE FEELING IT TOO, BUT I THINK OUR HATRED FOR EACH OTHER HAS SORT OF...GROWN TO BE A FORCE OF HABIT. IT HAS LOST ITS MOJO. WHAT ONCE WAS SHEER LOATHING HAS NOW BECOME RELEGATED TO SOMETHING I DO EVERY DAY, LIKE BRUSHING MY TEETH OR SHOWERING WITH RON OR CALLING GINNY A WHORE. I JUST DON'T MEAN IT LIKE I USED TO.

    SO I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE A POEM ABOUT WHAT AN TWATNOSE YOU ARE, AND HOPEFULLY THAT WILL RE-IGNITE MY FERVOR, BECAUSE YOU'RE A DICKNOSE, EXCEPT NOT LITERALLY, IN THE SENSE THAT THOSE ARE THE TWO MOST PROMINENT BODY PARTS YOU LACK.

    SONNET XLIII
    HOW DO I LOATHE THEE? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS.
    I LOATHE THEE TO THE HEIGHT AND MASS AND WEIGHT
    MY SOUL CAN REACH, WHEN FEELING LOTS OF HATE
    JUST AS TUCKER CARLSON HATES ALL THE GAYS.
    I LOATHE THEE TO THE LEVEL OF TOILET STALLS
    WHERE I WOULD HIT YOUR HEAD, REPEATEDLY
    AND KICK YOU IN THE NUTS QUITE HEATEDLY
    I LOATHE THEE TO THE COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR BALLS.
    I LOATHE THEE LIKE GINNY WEASLEY IS A HO,
    WITH RAGE BECAUSE YOU KILLED MY MUM AND DAD;
    I THEREFORE KNOW YOU ARE A DOUCHE FO SHO,
    AND YOUR FACE WOULD BE FUNNY IF NOT SO SAD.
    I KNOW THAT NO HOOKER CAN BLOW LIKE YOU BLOW
    AND ALL THIS MAKES ME VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY UNSPEAKABLY MAD.


    I THINK MY EXTRA SYLLABLES MIGHT BE SHOWING ON THE LAST LINE, BUT OH WELL. I NEVER SAID I WAS A POET.

    90 comments|post comment

    I'm bringing evil back. Them other Overlords don't know how to act. [Friday, Aug 31, 2007 @ 12:31pm]

    reallyquiteevil
    [ mood | optimistic ]

    One score and nine years ago I brought forth on this island a new Overlordship, conceived in Evil and dedicated to the proposition that all wizards are better than Muggles.

    Now I am engaged in a great bloody war, testing whether this Overlord, more than any previous Overlord less special and less powerful, can overpower Good. I am preparing a great battle-field for that war. I have come to desecrate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those will give their lives so that I may rule. It is altogether Evil and Overlordy that I should do this.

    But, in a larger sense, I cannot desecrate -- I cannot violate -- I cannot curse -- this ground. The stupid wizards, soon to be dead, who will struggle here, will defile it, far above my great power to add or detract. The world will greatly note and long remember what I say here, and it will quickly forget what they will do here. It is for me the Overlord, rather, to be dedicated to the unfinished work against which they who will fight here have thus far so ignobly advanced. It is rather for me to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before me -- that from these blinded wizards I take increased devotion to that cause for which they will give the last full measure of stupidity -- that I here highly resolve that these dead shall have died in vain -- that my Overlordship, under me, shall have a new birth of Evil -- and that government of me, by me, and for me, shall not perish from the earth.

    407 comments|post comment

    No offense! [Wednesday, Aug 29, 2007 @ 1:31am]

    grrgoyle
    I am at the Kings Cross Station. Witches and Wizards keep bumping into to me. They are without robes. I am without a robe. Naughty bits are bouncing across my face, my spectacles have become foggy with heat, and my chastity belt appears to have gone missing. My hands reach out, but NO, NO! You musn't touch, Goyle!!

    FOR I AM, GREGORY GOYLE. BORN AGAIN JUNIOR DEATH EATER. MY CARESSES ARE ONLY FOR THE DARK LORD. MY FRENCH KISSES ARE FOR HIS LIPS ONLY AS IS FOR HIS NOSELESS NOSEHOLE.

    167 comments|post comment

    We're still here [Wednesday, Aug 29, 2007 @ 1:11am]

    waitingfortom
    Hello, living people! The bouncer's taken to glaring at me every time I walk by, so I've taken to not making eye contact. He's very tiresome! But it's really very tiresome that he won't let me through. We haven't been able to find a better stock of tea, so I'm wondering-- Harry, did you attach anything else to this station that we should know about? A hidden tea room, maybe? It's just that looking at a train station for however long it's been makes you anxious to see something different, except I'm not supposed to leave to make it easier to restore me, and what-not. Not that the company isn't just lovely.

    Oh, and I discovered something very weird about the train that comes through. You get clothes on the train, of course, but once you're off it, bam-- naked time. Some weird platform nudity sphere, I guess. Sometimes passengers start to get off, realise it isn't actually their stop-- and then realise they lost their clothes for their trouble.

    ... And what the hell were you doing, Harry, letting Fred design a doorway?! Did you forget how weird he could be?! It sounds from your journals like something happened to Colin because of that door! Please close him in the basement if he's getting dangerous, don't want him attacking the villagers! OR THE SHEEP!

    Oh, Tom, that's right! There's an awful lot of sheep around Little Hangleton, did you know? I don't have any investments in the local sheep, but that might be a way to get some more income.
    43 comments|post comment

    .28: "The joyfulness of a man prolongs his day" [Sunday, Aug 26, 2007 @ 12:13am]

    no_opinion
    My latest and briefest experience with "death," if we can call it that, has brought out in me a certain need to give back to this community I "died" in. It has such a rustic quaintness to it, perhaps because of all the Muggle sheep farmers, but I think it is ripe for outreach.

    Hermione, I was hoping we might conduct that session soon so we could perhaps know each other better than we did in school. That way, we could better see our compatibilities and differences when it comes to our working personalities. I don't have your background in psychotherapy! But I have some experience in leading people through certain yoga practices through mentoring and sharing with Dean. In fact, I think you want want to consider Dean as well, if he's interested. He is a wonderful light, and he would bring joy to your patients as they enter the new times of their lives.

    My dear twin, I hope you will consider the fashion therapy! Bad fashion drags people into such a low state, and they need help recovering from those poor choices! Whether it's through Hermione's practice or Daddy's business, please do pursue it! The world needs you.

    And my sweet Lav, I think this may be an opportunity to help so many people became humane and kind. As they love themselves, so should they love the furry cute creatures! Maybe we could even invest in some of the village property to open a vegan restaurant/animal encounter! It'd be so adorable!



    Addition: Oh dear. It seems the fiendfyre from poor Vincemeister's second death has left a terrible scorched patch in the lawn. Does anyone know if that ground can be used for good? Neville? It seems fitting to plant a memorial garden if the soil can take it. Thank goodness the wizard fire brigade got to it before it consumed the house or anyone else.
    16 comments|post comment

    Ginny? [Friday, Aug 24, 2007 @ 11:37am]

    paparazzi_colin
    [ mood | sad ]

    Ginny I dont know if you can read this where ever you are but something happened..again.
    Crabbe was brought back to life but his well died again, he sort of well got consumed by magical fire and we couldnt put it out!
    I just got back from Saint Mungo's and this time because there was well a body we'll be arranging a real funeral service for the grave yard.
    Ginny I need you, please.

    95 comments|post comment

    OH THE TEA BAGS WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH! [Wednesday, Aug 22, 2007 @ 2:05am]

    waitingfortom
    ...

    .....

    That stupid... computer... it... LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE CAN OR WILL EVER SEE IT ANYWAY, BUT IF YOU DO, JUST NOBODY LOOK AT THAT LAST THING I POSTED, ALL RIGHT?!

    Right.

    Um.

    Tom, I... I can't wait to start a life together. Except that, you know, the problem of not being in life-life getting in the way. Do you think we'll be able to reach anyone on the other side to get help? I'm sure you can manage it all yourself, but I'm worried about how it'll affect you since you only just came to me.



    Did I promise something? I, er. I mean, I was... you know. Not that it means I take anything back, just can't seem to remember what exactly I... er...!

    You don't mind if I cuddle, do you?
    59 comments|post comment

    [Monday, Aug 20, 2007 @ 7:42pm]

    karkers
    Annual Evil Overlord Conference in Transylvania is to be taking place soon. If you're being past, present, or future Dark Lord or follower of Dark Lord, please to remember preregistration for discounts, Evilies Bag, and free dessert at Dark Dinner Party. And if preregistered, you're having random chance to win free vacation to Tahiti, with second place prize of free-to-do-what-with Mudblood!

    I'll be hosting panel of Dead Death Eaters with buffet. Living recommended not to attend with sense of smell or appetite.

    Junior Death Eaters, making sure to confirm senior sponsorship for access to age-restricted panels.
    85 comments|post comment

    [Monday, Aug 20, 2007 @ 5:52pm]

    boogiedownvince
    HORRAY! I can't believe I'm alive again! Take that, The Veil! Nothing can stop Fritzy and Camera from dancing forever! I picked up some dance tips from some other ghosts and that cool skeleton Frank. Too bad you buried him, Camera!

    I took a wand some dead guy isn't using any more. Serves him right. Before the rocks fell, he criticized my buttocks!

    ...

    I should probably tell Mrs. Crabbe that I'm back! Eventually. It's taking a long time to clean up Camera's house and the rubbish is piling up in the lawn! Maybe we can make a rock garden out of those referection stones.

    ...

    Hey! Let's have a celebratory bonfire and dance around it! We can burn all that ruined stuff we cleared out! I'LL SET THE FIRE! FIRE!! FIRE!!!

    ...

    THE FIRE HAS FACES IN IT THAT IS AWESOME! LOOK AT IT BURN!!! WHOA!!!!

    ...

    Uh oh.
    10 comments|post comment

    [Saturday, Aug 18, 2007 @ 11:35pm]

    veryverysmart
    Feeling down?


    Feeling ugly?


    I can help.

    I, Hermione Granger, completely understand. We all had a traumatising experience during Harry's little death vacation: the complete vulnerability one shows when naked.

    Fortunately for you*, you lovely, beautiful, humourous, imaginative, clever person, I am experienced in self-esteem therapy.

    Please drop by Frank's old cottage (the undemolished shack) to make an appointment. Walk-ins welcome. BYOBBB.






    *We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Specifically: Ron.
    70 comments|post comment

    Good after after afternoon to the max! [Saturday, Aug 18, 2007 @ 3:34pm]

    insectintegrity
    [ mood | ecstatic ]

    Hello, darling readers and fellow Hogwarts alumni!

    It's a splendid day to sit out on a lawn and enjoy a delicious drink of ButterBeer Blast, isn't it? I love stretching out under the clear blue sky with a pint. A terrible shame that the reunion party broke up like that, but perhaps we can hold another sometime. One that doesn't wander into dangerous territory, hopefully.

    I know it's been a lot of work clearing the rubble away from that dreadful rockfall Potter caused, not to mention shooing off the Muggles and coming up with good explanations for why a prominent town landmark is mostly caved-in. That's enough to work up quite a thirst, isn't it? I've found that ButterBeer Blast quenches any thirst! Hot, sweaty, exhausting thirst.

    I've heard some troubling rumours that house elf advocates are trying to ban all forms of butterbeer, even ButterBeer Blast, because of its intoxicating effects on house elves. There's another rumour that butterbeer is actually a poison to house elves and can drive them to murderous rages, but there's really no proof of that. Let me assure you that my favourite beverage is completely safe for human consumption and it's very responsible of the Belby ButterBeer Bottlers to address this controversy by promoting ButterBeer Blast to other small beings, like human children, and not house elves! BBBB-- or as I like to call it, B4-- is so smart. B4 cares about the little ones.

    A B4 representative had this to say:


      "It's evident that house elves get thirsty and could use an extra kick in the pants to help get them through the day. Not that they wear pants because that would be giving them clothes. ButterBeer Blast was designed to offer witches and wizards a great-tasting solution with a unique formula that invigorates the mind and body, preventing those ill-timed yawns from taking over, while soothing the stresses of the day. This beverage is so amazing and life-changing that even house elves want to drink ButterBeer Blast."

    Did you know you can drink ButterBeer Blast any time of day? Morning, noon, night, midnight, morning again to make up for missing an opportunity at dawn, second breakfast, tea? It's satisfying no matter when you pour it down your throat!

    I just love ButterBeer Blast and I hope all of you will drink it, too! Forever.
    70 comments|post comment

    [Wednesday, Aug 15, 2007 @ 10:12pm]

    waitingfortom
    Well, that's rude of them. They could just say they ran out of ham and cheese sandwiches instead of screaming it at me. Just because everyone else asked about them doesn't mean they have to take it out on me, really!

    Apparently whatever's bogged up the rails is so bad that they're going to have to reverse us all the way back into Harry's little King's Cross, and we'll have to wait for repairs to finish before they can send us back along.

    Got you some tea, though. I wasn't sure if you took any cream or sugar so I got... er, too many packets, I suppose. I'm sorry that it's not better, Tom, but they say there's not much in the way of quality teas between afterlives. It should be recognisable as tea. I think.

    Oh, you've got a laptop working! Fantastic! Is there a network for partially dead people?! I wish I could say hello to a few-- I mean, not that I don't like your company just fine, of course! But all the train workers and passengers are being so rude! Hope Colin made it out all right.
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    Mission: resurrection! [Wednesday, Aug 15, 2007 @ 11:09am]

    herbology_dork
    GINNY AND COLIN! i don't know if you are still able to receive any communication from the living world, but if you can, know that i am working to save you! i have cast anti-decomposition charms and have healed any of your wounds i could manage.

    i did the same for Tom, since I know that you would not want to return without him, Ginny. and other people are doing the same for all the other... bodies.

    as of now, i have not been able to conclude without a doubt the reasoning for your extended stay in limbo/ the reason the universe refuses to allow you back to life. Colin, i suspect it may have something to do with Vincent- we always figured there was some reason he chose NOW to return, and i think this is it. however, for Ginny and Tom, i just don't know the reason. the only thing i could come up with is that it could be due to the complications of your inter-dimensional relationship, i suppose, but i can't really fathom why that would affect both of you, and not just tom, who did the universe-hopping. so that doesn't really make sense after all. i'm sorry. i will keep thinking on it.

    but don't worry, i will get this figured out! we've got a lot of people working on it, we'll have the answers soon.
    16 comments|post comment

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