Rita Skeeter (insectintegrity) wrote in storge_space,
Rita Skeeter
insectintegrity
storge_space

Good after after afternoon to the max!

Hello, darling readers and fellow Hogwarts alumni!

It's a splendid day to sit out on a lawn and enjoy a delicious drink of ButterBeer Blast, isn't it? I love stretching out under the clear blue sky with a pint. A terrible shame that the reunion party broke up like that, but perhaps we can hold another sometime. One that doesn't wander into dangerous territory, hopefully.

I know it's been a lot of work clearing the rubble away from that dreadful rockfall Potter caused, not to mention shooing off the Muggles and coming up with good explanations for why a prominent town landmark is mostly caved-in. That's enough to work up quite a thirst, isn't it? I've found that ButterBeer Blast quenches any thirst! Hot, sweaty, exhausting thirst.

I've heard some troubling rumours that house elf advocates are trying to ban all forms of butterbeer, even ButterBeer Blast, because of its intoxicating effects on house elves. There's another rumour that butterbeer is actually a poison to house elves and can drive them to murderous rages, but there's really no proof of that. Let me assure you that my favourite beverage is completely safe for human consumption and it's very responsible of the Belby ButterBeer Bottlers to address this controversy by promoting ButterBeer Blast to other small beings, like human children, and not house elves! BBBB-- or as I like to call it, B4-- is so smart. B4 cares about the little ones.

A B4 representative had this to say:

    "It's evident that house elves get thirsty and could use an extra kick in the pants to help get them through the day. Not that they wear pants because that would be giving them clothes. ButterBeer Blast was designed to offer witches and wizards a great-tasting solution with a unique formula that invigorates the mind and body, preventing those ill-timed yawns from taking over, while soothing the stresses of the day. This beverage is so amazing and life-changing that even house elves want to drink ButterBeer Blast."

Did you know you can drink ButterBeer Blast any time of day? Morning, noon, night, midnight, morning again to make up for missing an opportunity at dawn, second breakfast, tea? It's satisfying no matter when you pour it down your throat!

I just love ButterBeer Blast and I hope all of you will drink it, too! Forever.
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