what just happened here? Pav and i were FINALLY sitting down to our first date, and now we're... answering phones for HWMNBN?
IT WAS A REALLY NICE RESTAURANT, OKAY, AND IT TOOK ME QUITE A BIT OF EFFORT TO GET THOSE RESERVATIONS! and it was our FIRST (real) DATE!
ugh, why do things like this keep happening? we're all set to begin a nice dating relationship, and WHAM! we are forced to be (fake) married, throwing a spanner in the works. then, we are ready to start our (fake) married life and live happily ever after, and BAM! Pav is kidnapped by her parents and sequestered on a mobile island. now, FINALLY, when we're back together and trying to have a go at a real relationship with a real date, and BOOM! whisked away to be evil phone operators!
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SWORD?
AND WHY IS THIS PHONE SMASHING ME UPSIDE THE FACE?
bugger this, i'm finding Pav and getting out of here, they can't make us answer stupid questions about the Evil Overlord Conference... OH NOOOO! GET IT AWAY! the nudity, the wrinkles! oh ew, is that the Minister? UGH! i'll do it, i'll answer the phone! anything to get those pictures away from me! AUGH!
...good evening, thank you for calling the Evil Overlords Conference Hotline, how may i help you tonight?
yes, children are welcome, provided they are loyal to the cause.
well, evil child-minders will be available, but little ones may also attend the family-oriented talks, and several have been designed specifically for children.
certainly; some of the topics your evil offspring might enjoy include: Muggle Torture for the Whole Family, Wretched Things You Can do With Sippy Cups, and Overlording for Children. You can find others on the Conference Schedule at the check-in table, along with a special baddy-bag for all registered attendants under age 17. don't forget to pick up nasty nametags for the whole family.
yes; thank you, madam, you have a lovely evening.